You need to set up the ground first. Pick a week and go the extra mile. You love her and she needs to know it. Buy her 101 roses on Monday, make her day. Bake her a cake, just for the hell of it. Act like it’s Christmas, everybody loves Christmas. When the weekend comes, step your game up. Give her the most romantic night of her life. Rent a whole restaurant, fill it with flowers and candles. Hire a string quartet. Cook her an amazing dinner. Make sure you mention you made it yourself. Listen to every word she says the entire evening, visibly enjoying every single one. After desert, stand up, go to her and get on one knee. With “Edward Elgar’s “Salut d’Amour” being played in the background, present her with the most beautiful ring you can afford. While you slip it on her finger, whisper: “Baby, I want you to put this gorgeous finger up my ass tonight.”

Hope it helps!

Straight. I do work in design though, so my dad would gladly joke otherwise…